April 10th, 2008
47% recycled blog:
i stood there hoping the wind would pick up and i would be carried away over Oklahoma City on my old black umbrella with the red dragon handle, but the light flashed WALK and i begrudgingly crossed the street. No conversations with animated clouds or close encounters with birds. hello reality. Instead of being at work I wish it would rain all day long and that i could build a fort out of sheets in my living room and read for hours and hours by the glow of a flashlight pretending that my faux fireplace is bursting with precious flames.
When i was in 4th grade i had a boy haircut. wait.. i looked like a boy and the haircut didn't help. For mother's day our teacher had us make profile portraits using black paper and an overhead projector (oh those were the days). Anyway... i forgot to put my name on mine as did another boy classmate and since our teacher could not tell the difference she made me and the other student leave the room while the class voted. The profile's were so similiar that not even our teacher could tell them apart (i'm telling you the haircut was bad). Had the project had more visible characteristics it would have been clear who I was.
14 years later i feel as if i'm reliving my 4th grade mother's day project all over again, except this time i don't have a hideous boy haircut (or my favorite gray racoons in the forest shirt, you know the one.. with the stripes) or black butcher paper. I feel I am caught in this awkward transition period of "adulthood" if you will. I know who I am but i don't feel like other can see it. haha or maybe they do see and they wish that they hadn't. OR maybe all my ramblings have screwed up what had the potential of being a decent metaphor (MET-A-FUR, for those of you who know randy) when the truth is i don't think anyone gets me for me.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
The power of past tense
March 13th, 2008
i wish it would rain all day long and that i could build a fort out of sheets in my living room and read for hours and hours. i can’t think of a better way to spend my time. ;-)
i have a pair of black flip flops that i just can’t give up. They’re wearing out but i’ve made such great memories in them i don’t want to throw them away. They’ve been to the mountains in ireland. I’ve got white paint splatters on them from working at Childhaven in Alabama. i’ve danced in the rain on Virginia Beach and nearly lost them in the wind. they’ve been to Wal-mart more times than i can count. sigh... but all good things must come to an end. So if i do retire them i shall place them in a proper spot- the Shoe Tree on Rt. 66. where every good sole is layed to rest.
two very exciting tid-bits----> i’m leaving for Minnesota this Friday! and ... i re-enrolled at UCO, so i’ll be taking classes full time in the fall!!
i wish it would rain all day long and that i could build a fort out of sheets in my living room and read for hours and hours. i can’t think of a better way to spend my time. ;-)
i have a pair of black flip flops that i just can’t give up. They’re wearing out but i’ve made such great memories in them i don’t want to throw them away. They’ve been to the mountains in ireland. I’ve got white paint splatters on them from working at Childhaven in Alabama. i’ve danced in the rain on Virginia Beach and nearly lost them in the wind. they’ve been to Wal-mart more times than i can count. sigh... but all good things must come to an end. So if i do retire them i shall place them in a proper spot- the Shoe Tree on Rt. 66. where every good sole is layed to rest.
two very exciting tid-bits----> i’m leaving for Minnesota this Friday! and ... i re-enrolled at UCO, so i’ll be taking classes full time in the fall!!
Don't Rock the Boat, don't tip the boat over
February 23rd, 2008
I just re-applied to the University of Central Oklahoma!!!
i really want to finish my degree. i feel like this past year out of school has been well spent..despite it's apperance. i've experienced a bunch and i now know that earning my Speech Pathology degree is one thing i want. Please keep me in your prayers. THaNks! :)
I just re-applied to the University of Central Oklahoma!!!
i really want to finish my degree. i feel like this past year out of school has been well spent..despite it's apperance. i've experienced a bunch and i now know that earning my Speech Pathology degree is one thing i want. Please keep me in your prayers. THaNks! :)
Memories are like moonbeams- we do with them what we like
February 11th, 2008
i love memories. i love unintentional memories the most. It's never the obvious that remind me of the things i miss deeply.
It's not the sweatshirt that i wear at least once a week that reminds me of things that might have turned out differently but the Olive Garden and the Simpsons.
Why is it that after a relationship is over the craziest things can trigger your memory.. for instance i can no longer look at Spinach the same. it use to be gross but now it looks kind of sad and under appreciated. Or the fact that a specific laundry detergent nearly brings tears to my eyes. it's true. lol.
when i'm driving down a long highway and the stars are out it reminds me of sitting in the back seat of whatever crappy car my dad was driving at the time. Sammi and i would be in the back exhausted from a softball game or a trip to grandmas and i'd press my face to the window and lean as far as i could to see the stars. This continued the entire way home or until i fell asleep which ever happened first. I would look at those bright shining lights and just dream. all sorts of things... but mostly about aliens.
In the spring time my mom would open the doors and all the windows in the house then she would put her Michael Bolton or Robert Palmer album in and clean the house with pinesol, my personal favorite, making the house smell as sunshiny fresh as it was outside.
I remember the day i got my braces off. not neccessarily because i'd worn them for almost 4 years but because i was trying to impress somebody and ended up having a horrible (by horrible i mean... it was hilarious after the fact) go-cart accident.. suddenly getting my braces off that day didn't seem like such a big accomplishment in light of the fact that i racked myself so bad i could barely walk. lol.
It's not the diamond ring that makes me remember my first serious relationship but rather john wayne card board cut-outs and hamburger helper.
and looking at the clock reminds me that i've been here for 11 hours...that one was an obvious correlation. i'm out!
Amanda
i love memories. i love unintentional memories the most. It's never the obvious that remind me of the things i miss deeply.
It's not the sweatshirt that i wear at least once a week that reminds me of things that might have turned out differently but the Olive Garden and the Simpsons.
Why is it that after a relationship is over the craziest things can trigger your memory.. for instance i can no longer look at Spinach the same. it use to be gross but now it looks kind of sad and under appreciated. Or the fact that a specific laundry detergent nearly brings tears to my eyes. it's true. lol.
when i'm driving down a long highway and the stars are out it reminds me of sitting in the back seat of whatever crappy car my dad was driving at the time. Sammi and i would be in the back exhausted from a softball game or a trip to grandmas and i'd press my face to the window and lean as far as i could to see the stars. This continued the entire way home or until i fell asleep which ever happened first. I would look at those bright shining lights and just dream. all sorts of things... but mostly about aliens.
In the spring time my mom would open the doors and all the windows in the house then she would put her Michael Bolton or Robert Palmer album in and clean the house with pinesol, my personal favorite, making the house smell as sunshiny fresh as it was outside.
I remember the day i got my braces off. not neccessarily because i'd worn them for almost 4 years but because i was trying to impress somebody and ended up having a horrible (by horrible i mean... it was hilarious after the fact) go-cart accident.. suddenly getting my braces off that day didn't seem like such a big accomplishment in light of the fact that i racked myself so bad i could barely walk. lol.
It's not the diamond ring that makes me remember my first serious relationship but rather john wayne card board cut-outs and hamburger helper.
and looking at the clock reminds me that i've been here for 11 hours...that one was an obvious correlation. i'm out!
Amanda
Confetti Confessions
well well well The new year has begun and i have made a ton of "secret" resolutions. i don't want to tell anyone i just want to work hard and have someone take notice of the difference. so be on the look out. This year is going to be big,really big! Things are going to happen and i'm looking forward to 2008. i'm actually interested in politics.. republican politics that is. I'm reading a really great book despite it being on Oprah's book club list.. make me gag, Oprah not the book, It's called "Breath, Eyes, Memory" by Edwidge Danticat. I would like to start painting, thanks be to my muse the Reginald. I would also like to have a robot cat. well.. i'd like a real cat but i can't have one in my building so a robot cat would be the next best thing. i don't have to worry about forgetting to feed it. I've nixed video games (except my janky japanese version of dance dance) and i'm going to boycott toilet paper..jk. that just wouldn't end pretty.
I <3>
claim to fame
November 29th, 2007
hahaha so i always make fun of people on the news and i think they always pick the most stupid people to interview. we'll i've now joined that club.30 min. ago while typing away at my desk, my boss says people are filming down stairs. so what do Cristin, Shea, and I do??? that's right run down stairs as fast as we can! In the parking lot we see a camera crew and a really tall handsome cowboy, but we can't see exactly who it is. So we're standing inside the building; Cristin with her face pressed to the glass, Shea with the classic "hand sheilding her eyes" glance, and me jumping up and down to get a better view. While debating who he could be we notice he is walking toward us. no....strutting towards us. he gets closer. "he's not coming over here?" "no, he's not coming over here." oh crap.... "he's coming over here!" where are we going to go? it's obvious that we've been staring at him for a good 5 minutes AND we're standing behind the glass doors with no where to go. He is still walking towards us.... closer closer He waves us out. so we walk out and it's BLAKE SHELTON!!!! he greats us; tells us all how pretty we look and how he saw us from across the parking lot. (what a charmer... with photoshop eyes, so blue) As i reach for his hand i notice his fly is undone.... what do i do? do i tell him? nah... "i'm Amanda, you're fly is unzipped" sounds a little to friendly so i just went with "i'm Amanda". He was shooting for NBC's show Clash of the Choirs. Cristin and i sang two christmas carols with him. And although he was extremely handsome when he started carressing my face i felt uber uncomfortable. But it was nice to hear him sing.Shea ran inside to get Jennifer and she came out and sang a solo. Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy ... and the three of us served as background dancers. lol It was fun we talked a little bit longer then signed release forms. Went back up stairs and were very unproductive for the next 20 minutes. After making fun of his flying being down and talking about how "i wish i had/hadn't" or losing jewelry in clevage areas... someone runs by and says that we need to go downstairs to the canal. Where at least 10 AAI co-workers and other various celeb wannabe's jumped in the canal boat and sang along with Blake Shelton to the tune of Jingle Bells all while camera's rolled. The Show airs Dec. 17,18, & 19!!! on NBC (channel 4 in the Oklahoma City area) http://www.nbc.com/Clash_of_the_Choirs/ so check us out. there is no telling what will be cut out or aired and you know how i just ramble when i get nervous! hahahahahai almost broke out the Robot dance... but had a moment of clarity. Thank the good Lord! i took a few pictures with my phone so maybe i'll get to post those soon.and to think i got paid for my 15 minutes of fame.
**** let me clarify i'm not part of the Choir, i just sang a few songs with him, but on tv none the less****
**** let me clarify i'm not part of the Choir, i just sang a few songs with him, but on tv none the less****
My heart knows me better than i know myself so i'm going to let it do all the talking
November 27, 2007
This weekend I had the chance to visit with an old friend, who over the years I've been really close with, and he said something that I thought at the time I knew the answer to but it wasn't until today that I truly discovered its meaning.
He said that he had spent the last few years finding out who he is. We talked about ways we had both changed over the years. It was good to catch up and re-kindle a friendship from the past.
I've had a whirlwind of a week, but today as I was driving to work- it hit me. I finally felt happy with myself. For the first time in my life I felt like I was in the right spot and on the right track. haha it was "like lightning struck my brian". I almost always carry around a small amount of uncertainty about the choices I've made whether it's school, work, or relationships, but NOT TODAY.
I can see where God has placed me and I'm starting to get a glimpse of why. Life changes and I'm going to make mistakes but its okay because nothing is permanent. Love DOES conquer all (thanks Ashley & Regina).
This week was my wake up call. Putting yourself out there is one of the scariest places to be and rejection is a big obstacle for me. But I've lived through it, not that it doesn't hurt (tremendously). Try- for heavens sake I beg you. Take a chance, do something you've always wanted to do. For me I feel that I've been called to get involved in my community. For you it may be as simple as letting people into your life: a friend, family member, or stranger. All I know is that I've wasted too much time being selfish. So get involved- love, forgive, grow, live, & most importantly RISK!
This weekend I had the chance to visit with an old friend, who over the years I've been really close with, and he said something that I thought at the time I knew the answer to but it wasn't until today that I truly discovered its meaning.
He said that he had spent the last few years finding out who he is. We talked about ways we had both changed over the years. It was good to catch up and re-kindle a friendship from the past.
I've had a whirlwind of a week, but today as I was driving to work- it hit me. I finally felt happy with myself. For the first time in my life I felt like I was in the right spot and on the right track. haha it was "like lightning struck my brian". I almost always carry around a small amount of uncertainty about the choices I've made whether it's school, work, or relationships, but NOT TODAY.
I can see where God has placed me and I'm starting to get a glimpse of why. Life changes and I'm going to make mistakes but its okay because nothing is permanent. Love DOES conquer all (thanks Ashley & Regina).
This week was my wake up call. Putting yourself out there is one of the scariest places to be and rejection is a big obstacle for me. But I've lived through it, not that it doesn't hurt (tremendously). Try- for heavens sake I beg you. Take a chance, do something you've always wanted to do. For me I feel that I've been called to get involved in my community. For you it may be as simple as letting people into your life: a friend, family member, or stranger. All I know is that I've wasted too much time being selfish. So get involved- love, forgive, grow, live, & most importantly RISK!
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